"What's a typical weekend like?"

Hola.

Coh moh est ass.

Due to popular demand (and a Bosnian fan) I am back. 

I got back to xiang gong on the 19th of Aout. I'd like to say it was an uneventful flight but unfortunately not. After leaving mo dhaidi in the airport and saying my last goodbyes with my stinky ass Pepperami breath I hobbled to my gate aran sweater in tow. I say hobbled, because I had a liquid nitrogen induced blister the size of Jupiter's fourth biggest moon on my left big toe. This did mean that after my flight to Laandaaan I got to hobble to the Passenger Services desk and get a golf buggy with an old kiwi farmer who fit the "can totally walk but gets the buggy for the hell of it" category. I felt so wonderfully obnoxious. It goes slow enough for people to stare longingly at you as you go past which is an added bonus. On the flight I got my foot run over by the food trolley and watched the Lorax and about 10 episodes of New Girl. I were met by a wheelchair after getting off the plane and had a painstaking conversation with the poor woman pushing me because neither of us quite understood the other. 

Despite being saghas neirbhíseach about going back to school, it was crazy normal to be back. Sat eating dinner in the canteen with Jamés, avoiding packing and napping instead with Glenda, doing a tour of public hospitals on my first day back (Prince Of Wales had a 7 hour waiting time for A&E patients and a 4 hour 43 minute waiting time for those with heart attack symptoms) and having Monica and the hospital nurse pin me down and attack my toe to the sounds of an old man die in the corridor. All was as should be.

It didn't really feel like we did much in the way of class, save a physics lab and maybe a chinese e-mail or two. Did my theory of knowledge presentation on the ethical implications of Death Note. Switching down to standard chemistry has made my life full of rainbows and sunshine and love. And free blocks. So many free blocks. Afternoons were spent unpacking and getting my fix of bubble tea and Hui Lau Shan mango sago after a summer of desolation. My curtain rail broke under the weight of all my clothes and fell out of the ceiling. Maintenance have been notified. We went out for buffet Korean BBQ with tutor group one night. I have rarely eaten that much MEAT. I met up with a fellow Kilkennyian at the classiest karaoke bar in HK. Madonna's Like a Prayer was no challenge for my magnificent voice. I cut Jason's hair and gave him a bald patch. I nearly got my lip pierced to boost my street cred for when the first years came. Unforch (or perhaps luckily, it depends on your own view) the piercer was on holidays, so I went back to school, skyped daddy and said hahahahahahalippiercinghahahah to which he was like lol no and then I bitched out. Goodbye street cred but at least Wendy still loves me. I went to Mong Kok with Paloma and bought ugly clothes and sushi. I found a fedora in my room. I've started to get into the Foster the People album. A riveting two weeks I assure you.

And then the first years came.

I like to use the analogy that we are the spiders in the equation. More scared of them than they are of us. The canteen is suddenly mobbed; the cheese goes, the yoghurt goes, my will to live goes. On the Saturday I went diving with coral monitoring - which was nice to escape the madness. I couldn't dive cause of my toe but I did make the most of the nutella sangwitch opportunities. A good crowd of us went to Sai Kung for honeymoon dessert and pizza. Mouthfuls of mango red bean gunk meant that we didn't have to interect much. At about 10pm when I was about to head back, Mia asked if I wanted to do a 2km open water swim race in Repulse Bay cause Dilzy had pulled out. The next morning. At 6am. So I said yeah sure. Having still not properly met my roommates I left at 6am with Mia, got collected by a total stranger, went to Repulse Bay, ate half a packet of digestive cookies and swam 2km as Dilene Mugenzi. Longest race of my life and I nearly crashed into Ocean Park but still got a silver medal. And beat Mia. Was back in school before lunchtime, in an attempt to prove that asking "What's a typical weekend like?" is the most redundant question ever, considering I went with a hideous skirt n' sparkly boob tube-clad Jason to the airport to collect Morgan that afternoon. The people of Ma On Shan are highly judgemental. We played dodgeball on sunday night too. That was one hell of an initiation. Remembering my first week I feel terrible for them - I was the kid too scared to go brush my teeth. So far though they seem unnervingly settled. I'm looking forward to loving them.

Or at least cohabiting.