Exams: A Webcam Diary

During exam time, many of us have our vices. 9gag, stalking pre-pubescent Eli Moist, Sonic Dash-ing, learning the lyrics to Wu Tang's C.R.E.A.M., wearing only the one pair of shorts for weeks on end, mastering aquarobics, eating. All the time.

My vice has got to be the very exemplar of culinary expertise, the modest Jube. A jube is a jelly cube suspended in a choice of juices. My particular weakness? Lychee. They have the consistency of human flesh. Here are some snapz after Jason bit the immovable lid off with his bottle opener adapted teeth. One day it got particularly bad (the pre maths nd chinese Thursday), resulting in this confession on Morgan's wall

09/05/2013

The Process of the Degradation of Sanity

Today Hannah was observed to have purchased two jars of Joobs in Lychee brine, for the purpose of a more nourished study of the Chinese language. Having breathed in the first jar in under a minute (in a rather enraged manner) she hurriedly reached for the other, and proceeded to open it using the Jason Method of forcing the lid off on a nearby solid substance. She attempted this manoeuvre haphazardly and accidentally smashed off the top 2cm of Joob jar, leaving a rather rugged edge. This did not seem to phase the subject, and she lifted the jar to her mouth and began to chug the cubes of strange consistency. Midway into her angry chugging, she noticed that she was crunching on glass, and (from her reaction) it can be assumed that she was reminded of the cocaine addicts one learns about in Transition Year, whose nostrils become raw from snorting the drug which has been mixed with ground glass.

Another coping mechanism was dressing up like a puritan rockstar and working in the geography room with Lerler. Sometimes we ate raw carrots. Raw. Rawr. 

Most of them went quite well, Physics paper 3 felt laughable, I managed to cough up a chinese essay of 200 characters on my favourite fanguanr. I threw in a 因此。。。因为, and only mentioned 包子three times so that's a guaranteed 6 right there. Maths, on the other hand was a trainwreck with an asymptote at infinity. Glenda had a different reaction (insert vague racial slur). 

Exams concluded on Friday the 17th. I ran very far away (Mong Kok) and purchased a €2 camouflage t-shirt and a lipstick called "Lavender Whip" amongst other things. On the way back to campus, I took the liberty in waiting for the first MOS train to leave from Tai Wai in favour of getting a seat on the second. The freedom radiates through everything I do. Alcohol was consumed in the presence of a fire consisting of Chinese mock papers and the complete works of Carol Ann Duffy and Dave McCracken's prized envi handouts. I went to the beach (didn't get burned!), then went out with Jason and Morgan to the infamous Korean BBQ buffet place above the Burger King off exit B2 in TST (valuable info). The plan was to eat until movement was hindered. There came a point when our stomachs were shocked by the volume of food it'd been subjected to. So we each had another mango sticky rice pudding (my seventh). Jason's food baby was more than impressive, and the MTR was beyond our capabilities as immobile bags of kimchi. We found a bus in the depths of Nathan Road and created a sitcom inspired by Jason's awful hair and loosely based on his experiences as a carpet dealer in a forgotten Scottish town inhabited by characters with personalities of our 同学s. 

Today I woke up at the other side of 7am (10:20!!!), began to pack the rather talking mounds of shite that's been festering in my corner for the past two years and on a bit of a whim decided to follow that mad eejit Maxim "Mad Eejit" Moshnyakov up Ma On Shan peak (his second time in the day). Despite being attacked by masses of red ants, the camouflage t-shirt and refilled cream soda bottle were integral to the success of the trip. That and following Pao's tramp stamped bootay. My granny sports bra clad body made an appearance but that shit is PG13. Following a much needed dip in the waterfall where we were joined by the non hiking 农民s, I find myself eating pizza in the dayroom with Jason and Pao, and no reason to wake up tomorrow.

Ps. Thanks to Maxim for some of the photos!