Tan...tastic?

Fake Tan is quite easily the worst thing to ever happen to this world (hey, there's nowt wrong with a bit of hyperbole). So much so that I'll often try to convince myself that "Pale is in! Pale is in! Look at my gorgeous pale le - GOOD GOD THE VILE PASTINESS MAKE IT STOP!". 


So with some degree of apprehension, the bottle is withdrawn from the second to last bottom shelf of me desk. Along with the mitt. Now, having shied well clear of the concoction until absolutely necessary, I'm glad to say that I've not experienced all the various forms of it. Mine is a Marmite-like goo. What am I saying, Marmite-like!? Sure it's quite obviously Marmite. Not a doubt. 

The perpetrator of the crime

As for the actual application of aforementioned gunk, well it's pretty much a "grit one's teeth and hope for the best" type operation. Just accept that your knees will be proper tangoed and you'll inevitably miss large patches on the back. Streaks just add to the effect. All in all, a good job done. 


Until you realise you'd kept your socks on and are gonna be wearing sandals. Anyone for tights?