The Love of My Life (and other furry animals)

This evening marks the four week anniversary to the day of my arrival to this wondrous land. Some of you may think it rather poignant that I have chosen today to write this post, those amongst you who know any better are aware that I've been too busy trying to achieve this. And failing miserably. Interestingly enough, that link is one of only 4 bookmarks on my Google Chrome.

Here is an assortment of things I have done (roughly) chronologically pre and post repatriation.

1. Morgan, Jason and I did something no man shall ever again achieve without incurring a high risk of heart disease and ate our way through realistically six times the average serving of Korean Barbeque. Though the last mango and sticky rice made the shine leave Morgan's eyes despite the recommended mint ice-cream palate cleanser, plans are in the pipeline for a plaque to be erected on Nathan Rd. where we crawled, dribbling, onto a bus bound for Lee On.

2. Glenda took me to see Hong Kong. Two years late, but I did appreciate it. There was plenty of food involved in that too. Sticky photos made me a little overexcited.

3. I went to the absolute back arse of an tSín. Like, Tajikistan way. 33 train tickets and a motley crew of Dilene, Halfdan, Adam and I left Hong Kong and returned sans tickets and Halfdan. We saw some yaks, ate our weight in lamb fat (excluding Dilly; she's a vegan with her own hemp footwear range), were almost always (in my eyes) excruciatingly late for trains (so much so that once when myself and Dilene were happily smug in our carriage whilst the rest bought noodles at the pace of a latino - surprisingly with only one present in the form of Pao - I almost wanted them to miss it for schadenfreude-y purposes), flew a beautiful kite called Mr./Mrs. Happy (depending on your take on gender constructs), sang a horrific rendition of Óró Sé Do Bheatha Bhaile in a strange Tibetan hostel 3000m above sea level amidst drunken Tibetan chanting, got ripped off by a baller in a yellow shirt with a popped collar and a smoking rate of 4 a minute, played Counter Strike in a smoke filled cavern of death, coconut juice, bitchslayers and G.Daddy Halfi's, wound up in the dodgiest amusement park the world has ever known (the one that sometimes comes to Gowran is like Oakwood in comparison), became the face of Urumqi Vogue following an impromptu photoshoot in the park and almost bought a burqa for Parker. 

4. Had Anna come to visit. Despite woe-filled tales of rain and depression, we actually had an incredibly pleasant time, much to the disappointment of my love of self (and country)-deprecation. There was drinking on the 'nal, cartoned white wine to Fergie's Glamorous on the beach, and a visit to the Natural History Museum Dead Zoo where we found a melodramatic bat and a couple of sloths. 

5. Went to Body and Soul avec le Morg. Interacted on a personal level with (read: groped/waved deliriously at) Wallis Bird, SOLANGE (that's only a few strands of DNA from Queen B and upping the cool stakes), Nick Cave, and the love of my life, David Kitt whom I got to sign a ratty napkin with "KITTSER MY CAMERA WAS STOLEN WILL YOU SHIFT ME?" written on it. He gave me the greatest hug and signed it with "big shifts, kittser xxx" so I reckon I have a massively decent chance when he comes to Kilkenny. Also met Longford's self-proclaimed greatest Nick Cave fan who was a bit Paolo Nutini-esque, enjoyed saying "unreal" and accidentally got me drunk on something out of a plastic bottle.

6. Became opinionated on the abortion bill. Sorry but if a woman can't get urgent medical treatment that might affect her fetus because both of their lives are worth the same then surely it's worse if two lives are lost as opposed to just one.

7. Rediscovered the rabbits. Some say they will outlast even cockroaches in the event of a nuclear fallout. All I know is that I think we've had them since I was in fifth class. Cookie (much to her disgust) has become my replacement for human contact, though it's a matter of days before she retaliates fiercely to my insistent whispering of "WHO'S MY BESTEST BUD NOW".

8. Became the proud owner of a debit card. This shall be my demise. Purchases so far include Polish bus tickets and a beanbag shaped like a wombat (the second part's a lie, but the internet is such a fabulous place).

9. Abandoned blog writing in favour of tea.

Readiculous

The can't in my Hannah Can't Read has gone. I have my reasons. My 15 year old sister (though perpetually the cooler of the Reads I hasten to assure you) recently changed her facebook name to Clodagh Readiculous. Being a mature 18 year old who buys expensive cheese as a manic act of opulence on the mid mock weekend, the can't was already on its last legs. Upon the incidence of the family bad pun integrated facebook name spot becoming taken, well, it was a tough goodbye but not quite equatable to the Bridget Jones emotion spectrum.

Opulence and project hot breakings (I have two MOS apple pies and mindless yoghurt popping bubba fro-yo to hold accountable for that plural) aside, this weekend has been glorious. Heather taught me the intricacies of her culture (lol poi) and took photos of the awful faces I pull when I'm concentrating. It was lots of fun and I did no maths at all and she did no Chinese and we cut up a bikini we found in the art room to make me a set. I accidentally took a video of us and though its a 7 minute gem of Heather burning her hands on molten nylon and me aimlessly twirling a single poi yoke around happy as Larry to the Arctic Monkeys' Favourite Worst Nightmare, it would probably be perceived by those who do not have 7 minutes spare to watch a poor quality video of a humdrum wad of nothing as a right hape of shite. 

It being a very sunny day and I bumming around with hetzy and then making good aul wholesome food with dilly and laurita made me do all my summer daydreaming. The kind of February ERMAHGERDSUMMERRR will be da bestest bring on july 2kaii13 lad kinda feels. I'm buzzin to get back to Bulmers and baths and Bulmers in the bath and drinking MILK from the carton like the bogger I truly am. These dreams of Centra own brand low fat two litre bottles have to be accompanied by some kind of choons and mar sin I have been enjoying the birthday playlist I made for the most reverend queen of eyebrows traytray-d and also a Jape//David Kitt binge the past few days. 

Pure claaaaaaaaass.

desert island discs

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned how my 47 year old self was big into BBC Radio 4, where youth goes to die. Now every Sunday morning there's a programme called Desert Island Discs, where "castaways" have to choose 8 records they'd like to take with them to this hypothetical island. In preparation for when I'm a has-been celebrity (so that'd be shortly before appearing on Strictly Come Dancing) I've got my own 8-track playlist at the ready. It's fairly tough to whittle down to 8, and at the tender age of 18 it's probably subject to a lot of future changes, but this is it in its glory ag an am seo.

1. Seven Days in the Sun - Feeder

First exposed to this song in the summer of '01 as an impressionable 6 year old, on the Smash Hits Summer 2001 album, it has remained a firm favourite. I had the opportunity to see Feeder last summer, where they played anything but this no one wants to hear your new album i was 6 when you were big.

2. Sit Right Down - Toots and the Maytals

The first of the "I like this cause Daddy does" tracks. Strange that a Jamaican Reggae band from the 60s should remind me of home, but this whacks of the kitchen on any given Wednesday evening (only if played at maximum volume and sung along to).

3. Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground - The White Stripes

I think at some point in the early stages of my development I was brainwashed into loving Jack and Meg unconditionally. For the life of me I cannot think of a better band. Though all are masterpieces in their own right, I like this one cause it's ballsy, and has the best ever recorded reverb after the "every breath that is in your lungs is a tiny little gift to me" bit.

4. All Night Long - David Kitt

Even though the "Small Moments" CD in our house is dedicated to baby Clodagh and not ratty toddler Hannah, I got the David Kitt bug. Saw him in Thomastown a few years ago but it was only over the summer when I found the CDs to complete the collection in the library that I became a proper Kittphile. Got my own copy of this in the post today, and "All Night Long" gets under my skin.

5. Going Up the Country - Canned Heat

Songs that accompany adventures are always the best. I'm a sucker for basslines too, and this one's just so...MEATY.

6. That Old Pair of Jeans - Fatboy Slim

Saw Norman Cook once too, but that was when he was going into Langtons so it's not quite the same. Regardless,  I love this one not only for the bass (that always helps) but for the wobtwangywobwob bit near the end and the lurks.

7. Hope There's Someone - Antony and the Johnsons

Dad played Hope There's Someone from the office when I was about 12, and I thought it was the worst thing I'd ever had to endure. I seem to remember trying to be positive about the bit with the angry piano chords. When Dad had two tickets to go see A&tJ in Belfast but no friends, the tough choice came down to me or mum, and I won the eenie-meenie-miney. A few years of processing and now look at where this has ended up in my esteem.

8. Wild is the Wind - Nina Simone

I first heard this on the Kinky Boots sountrack, as the bit where he gets in the car and it's all love me love me looouuuvvv meeeeee. Incredible voice is a shameful description. dis mah favourite.

In convention with Desert Island Discs, I am allowed to choose one book and one luxury item. The book will have to be Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Thomas Hardy cause I'm hip lyk dat, and the luxury item is Reese's peanut cups cause they have both fast release and slow release energy, making for a pleasant and wholesome dining experience. 

Songs that were narrowly cut include: Tainted Love - Soft Cell, Going On - Gnarls Barkley, Poor Howard - Leadbelly, Trampoline - Bellx1, Bigmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths, Ballrooms of Mars - T. Rex,  Freak Off - Orchestra Harlow, You Only Live Once - The Strokes, XXXO - M.I.A., The Only One - The Black Keys, Laundry Room - Nirvana and Heard that you Were Dead - The Bluetones.