I Know It Might Be Wrong But...

I'M IN LOVE WITH STACEY'S MOM ARNETT


This blog is dedicated to Arnett Edwards, the principal of Li Po Chun United World College of Hong Kong, for granting us Monday off school because of the stress we've been under lately. 


Friday morning was a maths 7:30am type job. Aieee. After that I woke up over brekkie before THE SUBJECT THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED follwed by free in Geo (aka sunbathing in the courtyard avec Olivia) then physics and English, whereby the usual promise of epic intense social cultural media studies debate was crushed by an hour and a half of mark scheme jargon. Following this muchos let down, I went to Ma On Shan to finally sort out my bank card and send a letter so after queueing in the bank for an hour to deposit some money I was free to return to campus, where it was GO GO GO for the opening ceremony of the Lee Quo Wei hall. Dinner was half an hour early which really messed with everyone's body clock (when I say everyone I'm generalising although I'm pretty sure most people feel the same way I do) and then we all got dressed up and headed for the hall. All the officials and UWC board members got cake and cheese (REAL NOT PLASTIC CHEESE) and other posh yokes and we glared at them from afar (when we weren't too busy taking too many pictures that is).

Mise, Jayla and Paloma

The assembly hall opening was fist swallowing-ly horrendous in parts, and jaw dropping-ly impressive in others. Let's start with the went-according-to-plan stuff, so that we can climax with the funnier anecdotes of the woeful stuff afterwards.



Jaw Droppingly Impressive Moments (2kaii11 lawd)

• Choir 
• Uber talented singers? Check. 
• Lion/Dragon dance
• Judging by the freakishly overenthusiastic UWC board member in front of me, they were a hit
• Ensemble
• In fairness I challenge you to find someone who doesn't like Michael Jackson medleys on classical instruments

Fist Swallowing Moments 

• Hello AV fail. 
• "On behal BZZZZZZ I would like to ta BZZZZZ portunity BZZZ and when thi BZZZZ
• Poor Mr Lee Quo Wei was unfairly forced to turn up, and let's face it, that was probably very detrimental to his health. Madison was informed that he might not make it through the opening. Personally I don't think it's fair to subject someone to going to the opening of an assembly hall if there's a risk that they might die live on the internet?
• Mr Lee and co. fecked off before lion and dragon dance. Awks.

Steve's Face During the AV fail

Somehow after all this opening ceremony fiasco, Olivia managed to convince me to go to Lang Kwai with her, J-Kwok, Carter, Tiffany and Madison. That was fun. We found a monk. 

Fresh as a daisy, 7am sharp the next day I showered, breakfasted, AND packed for coral monitoring in half an hour. Coral was IMMENSE. We took a bus to the lickle port nearby then unpacked all the gear and loaded up the boat. Following this was a blissful hour long boat ride in the sun to the dive site. We were briefed on the general rules for the day -  4 SLICES OF BREAD EACH ONLY.

The diving itself went pretty well. Considering I didn't have my air on at first, I managed pretty well to survive for a while without panicking. I also lost my weight belt in the depths. Ahhh suuuure. When I was kitted up again, all 8 of us dived together. Visibility was about this much I------I. This may have been because we'd all clunk to the bottom, stir up all the sand and flail a lot. After an hour of diving we used up some of our bread, draining the world of its nutella supplies in the process. First exposure to nutella in 2 moths, it does crazy things to ya. Some banterful jumping-off-the-roof-of-the-boat-into-the-sea times were had before another hour of diving, this time I reckon I actually saw some life. As in a real life fish. On the way back, artsy pictures were taken against a sunset and the HK skyline whilst Yara did math IA on a boat like a bawse.

Saturday evening was spent out at the stairs le gach duine but for some crazy reason despite going to bed late enough I was still up mega early on Sunday. Grr. Sunday was spent doing pretty much nothing, cause I was hella tired. I tried some chem homework, got breakfast but  missed brunch (Y I ALWAYS DO THAT?), wrote some letters, did some grocery shopping, prolly had some rehearsals thrown in there too? I had judo that night, I flattened Madison. I shouldn't be proud, she's about half my height.

Monday morning I was supposed to do a geography presentation but I got off the hook cause Mia and Leila took aaaaages. After school I walked into the canteen to see a half crazed Paolina ushering me back out and before I knew it I was on the MTR heading sushi-ward to Ma On Shan. Somehow we managed to make this trip last only 45 minutes cause we had a university meeting at 2:30, although it was an intense scramble back and I ended up cycling a bike with no seat back through campus to the assembly hall with Paolina legging it along behind me. The university talk killed a few people. Shelley (ruthless canadian guidance counseller) stood at the top and told people that you don't need higher math to get into Harvard, that university isn't free, that there is no financial aid here here or here, that Princeton Yale and Harvard are different places, that the people who take music are the ones chosen for med school etc etc. I could go on, but I'm afraid I'd hear the anguished screams and thuds of people whose dreams have been crushed. That afternoon we had coral monitoring service planning which was spent talking about the dive (and planning next weekend's). Then we had China week planning, and we're gonna have some gargantuan task with the mural painting. Bring it? After dinner I had photography which was real good, we got to see everyone's photos with the theme "Off campus" and vote for them. My sunset-boat-subject-mountains picture got 8 votes. Boom. That night we had rehearsals again, it's getting there alright.

Tuesday my chinese class was cancelled so I had a double free block nom nom. Did a bitta math, a bitta chem, a bitta letter writing. After school I went with Liz to MOS to print some photos, send some letters, buy some food, get some caramel bubble tea and do general shtuff like that. That evening rehearsals were cancelled but after check in I watched half a movie with the american boy before organising the largest McDonalds order ever.

Yes, I broke. I have finally joined the McDonalds LPC facebook page. My hungry (yet healthy) nights are now going to be filled with shaky fries and oreo mcflurries. My introduction to this pop culture ritual was intense. The guy was laden down with the orders of 14 different parties, each ordering for others. The bill came to the equivalent of E45.


Wednesday I did me geo presentation which was mega, I blew people's minds with tales of North Korean outward migration. I also had a chemistry lab first class which went splendidly. So splendidly in fact that I decided to do the write up after school, 3 weeks before it was due. So like a bawse, I completed it and it was really really beautifully awesome. Then I accidentally deleted it. No so bawse-like, but eejit-like. Poor Paloma was there to witness mah  creys. It was soul destroying. But I picked myself up by running to the shop in Wu Kai Sha and ingesting impossible quantities of ice-cream, also skyping the rentals.We had rehearsals for the play after check in too which were well good innit.

Thursday I got up nice and earlypants to skype which was quare enjoyable cause afterwards I had a free morning block so I went back to sleep. At breaktime the LPC souvenir shop was open so I bought me a hoody which is real nice on the front (but who really cares if it's class of 2010 on the back anyway). Tar eis na ranganna I had art for non artists. Now AFNA are already the coolest kids on campus but this took it to a whole new level. We painted the sidan chair (there's a sidan chair race this sunday which we have a team for so they needed to spruce up the sidan cahir) by chucking luminous paint on it while dancing to ghetto music. The IDB review team people came round to witness how epic we were and even Shelley came by all like "But you guys I'm always invited to the partayyy!" and we were all like "Boom, we're so awesome that even Shelley wants to go to the AFNA parties". I went to dinner with paint in me hair and after that I went to more play rehearsals instead of the global issues forum which was on split nations (hello Ireland yo) but it was alroish cause rehearsals were real fun. I'd love to elaborate but yanno, top secret and the likes. Thursday after block meeting (someone farted it was lolsome) I started on this yoke and got my chemistry going again. We then got an e-mail saying that we have Monday off school. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.


Friday's going grand, I'm was just chilling by the pool during my free block with James, Olivia agus Paolina, throwing down some work and yelling along to Oasis. Jason made a...um...cake of sorts for lachsons birthday so we devoured that a couple of secondos ago. Think a mega pile nutella, melted ice cream, chocolate roll, roulade, hershey's kisses etc etc along with a few teaspoons. I'm thinking of going to a philosophy talk later with Rosie etc later, should be interesting? Esp cause it's in some artsty cafe. 


Look at me, being pretentious. Join me next week for tales of the long weekend! Buh bye guys, 7 weeks and I'm home! x

Jumpsuits and Expatriation

So Saturday was spent lamenting the lack of a scuba dive pretty much. Especially because the sun was splitting the stones and it'd been called off because of the weather. I mooched around campus a bit and went for a swim, all the while giving out to Mia that I couldn't wait for dinner, because dinner means it's nearly time for CAFEEEE


This week's theme was Jungle, so naturally I decided to be a chameleon. In fairness I just wanted an excuse to steal Olivia's Reading jumpsuit, complete with Reading mud still stubbornly embedded. Also, who doesn't want to dance to french songs in a jumpsuit? Cafe went mega well, there were sketches and poems and songs and dances and all variety of things. Also, Laura and Olivia comparing as characters from Avatar was mighty impressive too. I were even nominated for best costume along with Heather as part of the Lord Of The Flies contingent and Peter and Rahael as Chuck Testa and taxidermy respectively. PLUS Imma be bassing it up for the next cafe so watch this space. For the mean time, check out this epic vid-jo of le danse francais (je suis a gauche).

After cafe, we helped clean up and that before heading out to the stairs. Most people got changed but there was no way I was gonna waste any time out of that jumpsuit. For the most part I gave Oda and Madi head massages but then come 11 we all went back to campus for CANTEEN PARTAAAAY. Being the cool people that we are, Olivia and I decided to head to the canteen about half an hour late, where we were met with 0 music and harsh lights. Newbie AV team fail. Canteen party fail. Undeterred, I somehow managed to stay entertained until about 2am whereby I got a little bored of wandering round the various dayrooms and sitting on the pavement outside block 2 DMCing.


The next day I was up bright and ridiculously early, for no apparent reason. I did absolutely NADA other than stay in brunch for longer than necessary (somehow the banoffee pie ain't as nice as it used to be) until around 1 when I decided to be a mad yoke and go to the gym. If you've ever read my previous gym-related blog post you'll probably understand how it went. I'll admit I ended up playing Angry Birds on my iPod whilst on the bike machine. And because the gym was empty I tried (and failed) to destroy the punching bag.


After that I had rehearsals for the play which went pretty well and is improving all the while! Imma get someone to film it when we perform it (less than 3 weeks now) but Imma have to keep it fairly secretive for the time being.


Then I prolly just waited around for dinner, after which I went to the supermarket avec Mia to pick up some brownie mix - we came back with biscuits and jam. Together with Dilene, we spent the next hour and a bit planning our talk on "Expatriation and Culture" for Wednesday's COP day on United World Colleges(Change Of Pace day - instead of classes there are lectures and discussions and workshops etc). Basically, Mia's a bitta China, Argentina, America, Italy, I think there was some Irish and German thrown in there too? And Dilene's Canadian and Rwandan and I'm...Irish and English. Oh joy of joys. I tried to talk myself out of leading a discussion on how expatriation has changed my life (since I crossed the pond all those wha, 14 years ago?!) but they were having none of it. Without me the presentation would lack the only thing I can ever bring to anything - vague self-deprecating humour.


After sorting out all that shizam it was off to bed with me. I'm sure I managed to stay up until midnight doing absolutely nothing though.


Monday classes and a few more classes and a few more classes and maybe bad lunch and then a presentation for China week whereby they claimed that China was a complete raging cesspit. I took it all with a pinch of salt so don't be surprised when I die from eating too much street food. After that came coral monitoring service planning and it turns out we're gonna be having our dive this Saturday instead so happy days. We watched Blue Planet and I got emotional at the part where the food chain happens. Then dinner nomnomnom followed by photography (note to self TAKE PICTURE FOR MONDAY) followed by check in followed by rehearsal. That night I also got my hair cut by Liz. First LPC cut and probably not last if I'm honest! Sustainable living and all that, she did a mighty good job!

Tuesday nowt major happened to the extent of my knowledge but I did my english homework really intensely (discussing teen culture exploitation by the american media INNIT). I also tried to sort out my bank card with Liz in Ma On Shan s never gonna work the first time so I've to summon up the strength to go one stop down the line to try again. I got mango goo juice to console me so it's all good.


WEDNESDAY WAS COP DAY yayayayay! The first alumnus talk I went to was by a student who went to UWC Mahindra. Twas all about her experience there and how at first she hated India but then went back to try and set up a radio station in a small village for a year and all the problems (mostly poo related) that she encountered! The second talk was by Chris Howarth, one of the first to attend Atlantic College UWC in Wales in 1968. He was talking about his life and how being a UWC "global citizen" had really changed his life, and all the incredible experiences he'd had because of it (one of the most graphic being a warehouse orphanage in Romania). He talked all about his United World Schools initiative and claims that from the 10 schools he's got in Cambodia and Sri Lanka at the moment, he plans to expand to 500 schools in the world's most developing countries with the help of his AC peers. Leaving the talk everyone was just like :O BAM motivated for life. I don't mean to sound unnecessarily soppy or nothin' but after that just sitting in the courtyard at bbq lunch le gach duine was really empowering?? After that it was student teacher discussion time, and the first talk I went to was on growing up in the drug wars in Columbia and Mexico. It's really crazy to think that you know people who've experienced things like this but I guess that's what the day was about. For the second and third sessions I was doing my expatriation session with Mia and Dilene and that went purdy darn good if I do say so meself. I got my oppressed-brit-living-in-the-savage-wastelands-of-catholic-ireland stories in and Dilene and Mia got their immense life stories and cultural messed-up ness stories out too, as well as learning from a load of t'others about their experiences. I missed Li Ping's talk on growing up during the cultural revolution but I've heard it was insane. Watching that when it's put up on the network fo sho.


Wednesday night was spent e-mailing and letter writing for the most part, but also revelling in the fact that I'd received a parcel from the fam. Jaffa Cakes were consumed ridiculously fast - turns out that Dutch people have good taste and Chinese/American/Argentinian people not so much. Waste of a Jaffa Cake if you ask me. Wore my new parcel pyjamas to bed and woke up on Thursday nice and late cause I had a free block first class (nomnom).


Thursday was nice, only had three classes, aced me mandarin ab test, had an intense debate in english and actually understood what the fup was going down in physics which is always a pretty rewarding feeling. Lunch was amazing because there are people starting to visit from the other UWC schools so they have to make it look like they feed us well which is nice. That afternoon I completed my geo project (outward migration from North Korea dontcha know), went for a swim with Olivia (no lie we did 2 lengths and somehow stayed in the pool for about 45 minutes), had art for non artists where we drew random stuff on the grass in the courtyard and then did some letter writing in my room whilst Olivia crashed on my bed and we both counted down the seconds to dinner. Which was kind of disappointing because it turned out that all the officials had gone out for dinner. After dinner I was going to go to the Global Issues Forum on split nations (Ireland, Korea and Germany) but that was called off because there were day long dress rehearsals for the opening ceremony of the hall tomorrow night so loads of people couldn't make it. To make up for this cultural loss I hung out in the library, writing this and bookfacing J-Kwok from his vantage point in the assembly hall of boredom. I got another parcel from the fam and the comfort food from that one is pretty much gone already too. Criteria for donations listed below.*


After that I had rehearsals again, and dya know what? It's starting to come together. 17 days to go bitchizz.


Asian love, Hannah x


*Will accept cadbury's, sherbert fountains, dipdabs, angel delight, moros, double deckers, pom bears, rancheros, meanies, yorkies, generally sugary/badforyou foods to the following address: Li Po Chun United World College, 10 Lok Wo Sha Lane, Sai Sha Road, Ma On Shan, Sha Tin, New Territories, Hong Kong.

(Dis)Orientation Week

I have just established that my blog is back working. I'm feckin elated. Those of you who had to experience my distraught ranting will know that blogger failed me on numerous occasions (and also that I was too much of a total twat to save a copy of my literary wonders). Those of you who narrowly avoided this rage, know that you are very, very lucky.

Now as expressed in blog the first, this blog was to keep y'all updated with tales from An tSín. Well táim anseo anois I guess, so brace yerselves!

I'm now nearing the end of week two. Week one was (dis)Orientation Week. Direct quote from first night's journal entry: "Too scared to go brush my teeth". There were alcohol awareness sessions (discussing alcohol in relation to cultural background - the words "I'm from Ireland" were enough to send the whole room into fits of laughter), camping (boat to hostel, complete with alternative dance/play, bbq pits, 4 hour hike, mega mega bugs such as praying mantis of doom, paggle-ing* in the sea, plenty of mozzy bites), pool games (think psycho competitive Hannah playing water polo whilst acquiring impressive burn tan lines and braving wearing a bikini despite high percentage of gorgeous long limbed latinos), infamous morning briefings (whereby I slept), and thai fishcakes (the canteen's shnakey way of fooling us into thinking the food would be daycent).

I don't think I got to bed before 2!

To round it all off, we had ICE (International Cultural Evening - this place is FULL of abbreviations; NACE, ECE, IB, LPC, UWC, CCE, QC, MESA...). This was fairly epic. For *ahem* the irish national dress *ahem* I wore my huuuuurlin socks (with sandals ofc), shamrock shaped sunglasses (ta very much Euro2), green soccer shorts, CELTIC WARRIORS IRELAND shirt boom agus super super dodge rara skirt from the Flea market (ex students leave their stuff eg curtains and first years go mental and buy things such as super dodge rara skirts and cube shaped hello kitty stools...). S'yeah bhí gach duine in their costumes and after dinner we all headed to the courtyard where the second years put on a fairly epic show. Highlight? Brit (plus Aine ofc) contingent's rendition of the Spice Girls. Either that or hip hop lion dance.

This week has been a lot more chill. Classes started, sure it's all going grand wha? With the exception of chemistry, but I've a nice system where Olivia (fellow confused peep) and I run to the common room during our free blocks and cry/do our chemistry homework le chéile. Chinese Ab Initio would be the funniest thing to sit in on. 24 foreigners yelling MA MA MA MA (with perfect tonal pronunciation might I add).

Tuesday was a day off cause of some national holiday so on Monday night a few of us went out for dinner. We went to a mega fishy district, i've never seen so many fish tanks in my entire LIFE crammed with like mega creepy types of fish.

...so naturally we went to an Indian. I got uber spicy potato curry to fit in with my stereotype (irish people only eat spuds, period).

Then for pierside walk watching all them floating lanterns followed by block two roof DMC avec Liz (dutch).

Your nationality becomes your name most of the time! I'm no longer Hannah, I'm Hannah-from-Ireland. More often than not I'm Ireland-from-Hannah though.


My living quarters are summat like this. I've a quarter of a room all to meself, with bed, desk, wardrobe, shelves, drawers. It has since been covered in Ikea produce. I'm practically scandinavian. I'm sure Swedish citizenship is based on your expenditure per annum in Ikea. 

I'll prolly be posting once a week from now on, but me e-mail is hannahmae27@hotmail.com and my addy is

Hannah Read
Room 204
Block 2
Li Po Chun United World College
10 Lok Wo Sha Lane
Sai Sha Road
Ma On Shan
Sha Tin
New Territories
Hong Kong

for those of you who still appreciate the beauty of snail mail.

Apologies for using words such as "super" and "chill". Please beat it out of me over Christmas.



Love to Éire, Hannah x

Me drinking bubble tea. More photos

*intentional misspelling