Spirit of Dragon (and Feargal Sharkey)

In the beginning of time there was a man who did not beget nor was begotten. He lived at one with nature and was in command of all of the four great elements. His strength was second to none, his voice silenced all. He could run through forests without snapping a single twig, hear the beats of insects wings from kilometres away and tell the time to the nearest minute by glancing at the sun. A man of great wisdom, great humility; his leadership was not only respected, but revered. In these thousands of years he never aged, and at some point in late 2012 he became the great leader of the LPC dragon boat team. His name (but a label on such a great entity) is Hong. 

Without making this too much of a Quan Cai reflection (though that's not to say that I won't just copy paste this whole thing to Managebac) I may just spam part of this blog with appreciation for this thing. It's a form of stress relief for some, physical exertion for others but I recks I just get a kick out of being in a grey and stormy Tolo Harbour on a Tuesday afternoon murmering the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack in my head (dundundundun dundundundun dundun dundudn dundundun). Tis probs the one thing I will genuinely miss next year (plastic plates can go die) and with only 2 sessions left I'm already feeling the pangs. Hong shook my hand today it was tha bestest. ps this is us paddling lol pps we have a competition plz come 2 repulse bay on sunday kthnxbai. 



On another note, this week (following a harsh telling off by Morgan for whining too much and plenty of exposure to her whining about people whining) I am making the most of my clothes swap returns (namely gwen stefani crop top, inoffensive jumper and lime green bag of death) for solely my own enjoyment. Today I rather enjoyed channeling my inner 1970s Belfast punk look (think stabbing my ear and a dusty khaki parka with safety pins at 7am) after Morgan and myself became unintentionally enamoured with the trailer for Good Vibrations. Now at a critical stage of emotional attachment, Stiff Little Fingers have become the epitome of all things great and cultured. The hunt for a place to illegally download the film continues.

gwen stefani c. 2002 crop topsucking in so hard y'all cant comprehend

u hav not been blocked lol

yeah i disabled my bookface. cause i was refreshing permanently in order to recieve a candy crush invitation from xyz and their mother. whilst i do miss uploading old Bluetones songs (LOSING A LOVERRR//GAINING A FRIEND) for little recognition but the likes of a couple of people i did a summer camp with 4 years ago and checking out how hawt i am in recently uploaded photos and wondering if the nipple-piercing cat as my cover photo needs replacing (or reinstating for that matter) here are some things i have been up to as y'all worried about why i didnt like you anymore.

1) leaving fb has given me more time to google things such as "pattern for a mint green faux fur cape", "how to wash silk" and "bad prom outfits"

2) clodagh (my dearest darlingest sister) made me get kik so now i send her ugly selfies of me in awkward clothes and spam her with things about my life and she sits around being embarrassed. normality restoring itself

3) i have been dropping my ipod in the canteen toilets. luckily the apple store peeps threw a brand new shiny one my way for a nominal fee after i withdrew it from my portable bag of rice failsafe

4) finishing high school AW YISS PENULTIMATE FRIDAY IS OVER one week of school left ever in the whole history of ever. to prove it here is my yearbook square

5) tidying my room and studying at my desk. that happened once. there are no photos.

so all of you sad peeps with nada to do you can catch me on le skype (hannahcantread) or kik (lol i'm so hip i cant even remember my username) or bum a letter my way cause that would be nice tho in fairness by the time it comes i will have probably returned to facebook in order to post this to boost pageviews.

Explaining the Last 8 Photos on my Ipod

Heather and Jason came for a visit. I happened to have Morgan's tartan corset skirt and fab bathrobe handy so they made the most of that. I think they went to Wellcome dressed as such later though I'm not entirely sure.

I made purple lipstick out of eyeshadow and vaseline and thought I was the shit. Enough so to take a selfie.

We went on a dive and I wore my reindeer beanie. In March. O wel. 

I went to the 10,000 buddhas monastery with me Granny/Mum's friend Sheila who was in Hong Kong for a few days. C'est le pagoda ici. 

This guy was one of these 10,000 Buddhas.

Leila and I are attempting to learn how to do maths. It's not working very well.

I went to Lamma Island to visit Anna on me Easter break and this was it in the morning. I'm not entirely sure whether we'd slept or not by this stage. 

I went to Pao's house after Anna's to get me some r&r and ended up being rudely awakened 3 hours after settling in for me comfy sleep and kicked out of the house. I escaped the gaggle and got the night bus back from causeway...to Nick Drake.

They call it stormy Monday (but Tuesday's just as bad)

A thundery day and no dragon boat means that I feel obliged to provide you all with a nugget of my life as of late.

Saturday got off to a bad start. 6 hours of extended coral monitoring service planning with Linda congealed-coffee-n-toast-in-the-bottom-of-a-stainless-steel-industrial-sink-breath was enough to have me despairing. Luckily Paolina had asked me over to dinner at her house so there was at least something worth living for. I set off a few hours early to central to give myself time to bum around and get lost somewhere, which I did very well, after tramming from Wanchai to the Sheung Wan side of Central I ended up a few hours later in a small park behind a rehabilitation hospital watching french kids on a climbing frame and gorging myself on mangosteens that I'd found someone selling in one of those alleyway fruit stalls. The sun was setting and there feck tons of bauhinia around and it was just generally nice. I took photos but because I'm a blatant non-conformist I will have to get them developed at a later date rather than zap them online when required. I then had to run back to central in my slightly too small boots and borrow someone's phone. Fairly hard to do, but after nervously asking my 5th older-white-woman-mother-type (nabbed outside Baby Gap) I was handed one of those Samsung tablet things which I had to hold with two hands. Eventually I met Pao and Ana in the bus terminus and we headed all the way out and played too much Dance Dance Revolution (Ana and I won) and ate muchos deliciouso Brazilian food. At 9ish I pulled a Cinderella to go back to campus for an epic St Paddy's celebration and ended up being 40 minutes late to my own party but bearing a bottle of Guinness and 6 cans of Breda (all of which cost less than the Guinness...) to make up for it. Greened out and occupying Laura's double bed we listened to Wallis until Dilene's superior music taste won over (hem hem). Shortly before the laptop was taken there were some excellent selfies taken. A few hours of acting the maggot on campus later and all of us ending up on the road outside block four, we bid each other adieu and got some kip.

Sunday started off slowly, and was consequently interspersed with apathy, attempts at study, disgusting chicken pies, painstaking journeys to Wellcome to feed Colombians grapefruit, and an existential debate on Wu Kai Sha beach with Heather - not forgetting the existential selfies and existential chocolate milk to go along with it. Following beach time was an angry dinner - surprised by lack of fries I had about 2 forkfuls of a dreadful carbonara before hosting Voice Jeopardy with Campbell. Less dreadful than imagined and Chris (that sweet  nonthreatening passive Canadian kid) was there and squirming about not being a coral monitor so that was enjoyable to watch. Tar éis é sin I collected a few vagabonds to film the promo video for the 80s café this weekend. Kids in America, Take On Me, Physical + the greatest selection of mine and Morgan's fabulous clothes led to this piece of cinematic genius. 

Monday I woke up feeling miserable, went to class feeling miserable, wore miserable clothes, had a miserable rage n' Nirvana filled free block, had poisonous classes and generally felt miserable. In such instances I often turn to the pool for comfort, and ended up staying for 2 hours bombing up and down. Only 5 seconds off my pb in 50 free and hoping to reach it again before summer. Service planning was painful, Steve's quan cai leadership workshop was enough to make me top myself, and then peer support was fairly nice in Michele's flat with choccy biccies. After check in I had unmiserablefying cake with Glenda 'cause she's an angel and then did some Chinese oral stuff with Mia "Zhongguo" Thayer following which we both plonked ourselves in blk 4 dayroom for a bit. Parker was overexcited about it becoming the place to be again so maybe we should crush those hopes. I went back to my room and got reading Ulysses on the Kindle (ta daddy), though I'm at a Stephan Dedalus consciousness part and that is no where near as fun as when it's Bloom's consciousness (#bloom4lyf).

Tuesday began slightly better, perhaps because I forwent my angsty get up of sweatpants and an ugly jumper and wore a 2pac headband (as well as clothes). My practice chinese oral went fairly well despite me dwindling down to "我的...eh...房间...是红色...ehhh...因此....我.....我...喜欢看书?" at one point. Watching Food Inc. in Geography meant that I was unable to eat anything in the canteen that may have been meat, corn or homogenised. I had a glass of water. And eventually gave in to some mashed potato. Got a parcel after school, had a guilt free entire easter egg (guilt free because of the promise of intense dragon boat training) and then set off to dragon boat. Once all 7 (!) of us had arrived at the beach the thunder and lightening started and so we were turned away. 

And so I chilled out to The National and Jape and the T-Bone Walker song which lends its name to this blog title and ate Creme Eggs and drank out of my new Shamrock mug and read the Sunday Times Style magazine. 

And I wrote this. Huzzah.

Portrait of a Tuesday

Woke up at 6:40 to the sound of Farai tripping over the scales.
Fell asleep again and woke up at 8:30.
Got up and revelled in triple morning free delight.
Having run out of knickers and put on a pair of bikini bottoms I figured it was time to do my laundry so I lugged the basket to block 3, used the tablets mo dhaidí had sent in his last parcel and shuffled back to my room in my fuschia pj bumbums and oversized Nirvana t-shirt.
Cleaned the atrocity of a corner that I call home, did the recommended 40 minutes of chemistry homework, listened to too much Jape (no such thing) and that song by Gist. 
Headed to chemistry with Morgan's glasses on (in my room from exciting block 1 adventures the night previous) and my black boots. Trevor wasn't there so I stole some of Dilene's answers and all her gossip.
Then I had geo and got back my mock paper it was acceptable and I said nothing wrong about Africa.
After school I didn't have much lunch but the apple was like a pink lady apple. I painted a mural with Laurita. Ella se ve muy guapa recientemente. 
Dragon boat was at 3:30. Only Sam and I showed up, Michi a bit later. A shame, it was a nice day. Hong put us in kayaks and sent us into Tolo Harbour. He's the greatest man, if only for his skill in knowing exactly what time it is by looking at the sky. .
After dragon boat I had a good long shower and put on a crop top cause I felt good about myself and I lay on my bed feeling good about myself. 
Oliver sent out a basketball e-mail. FREE FOR ALL. It was fun for a time. I was on the Loreto A team in first year after all.
Left and ranted idontneednomanbutitwouldbeniceifonceinawhileimetonewhowasnotamisogynisticfuck
Someone's listening to One Direction and I'm going to study maths soon.
My copy of Ulysses is on a bus in Bangkok somewhere and I miss it. That's why I'm writing funny. I was going to get mango from Morgan if I finished it by mid March and I was almost there.

Farai and a cockroach. Farai.

Vomming Up Chocolate Rabbits

Washed my hands of mocks with the passing of maths paper two (which, thanks to a reclaimed yoga-come-geography room and a shoeless co-year went better than expected) on Wednesday at 10:33am. Roughly. Though having intended to run away to central as soon as permissible, I decided to charge my iPod and wait for free lunch first. 

Then I ran away to Mong Kok, and bought 4 shirts, each more garish than the last, a pair of boots that were slightly too small and made for a petite Italian man but totes fab nonetheless and a skirt or two. Boots aside, all that was about a fiver (yoyos wise). All to that "Mojo presents...Beloved" compilation CD dad got free a few years ago. Got a black and white film (cause I'm really hip) from SimCity, that great 5 story eclectic emporium of camera shops and sex shops. And an egg waffle. Bumming around MK was much overdue, though the humidity is picking up and I got dripped on a fair few times by those mirthless aircons. 

I got back to school fairly early (about 4ish) then went on a friend hunt, sequentially by room of course: Paloma, Lau, Beata, Dilly - until finally I had to settle for Hetzy, comatose on her bed. We made it to Ma On Shan, I had another of those heavenly HK$8 apple pies. And mango sago. Went to the promenade, were mega deep then walked back to school. I picked up a parcel from the general office with seconds to go before uploading the Nigerian CD it contained and devouring the contents (namely a chocolate bunny wabwab) over an erratic putlocker Juno. If you, as I, have not seen it since bebo was still a thing then go watch it. Morgan interrupted halfway through to deal with the realisation that she is becoming slowly more and more bitter. We listened to the soundtrack and moaned together. I lent her the Bart Simpson jumper to cheer her up.

After check in (with 15 minutes of Juno to go) I went to the gym where all of the post-mocks chub second years were de-chubbing with varying success. No lie there were about 15 people in there. Unfortunately after 20 odd minutes of girly cardio, I went to get a glass of water downstairs and vommed up a chocolate wabbit. Pleasant. I decided to call it a day and mooched back to ma chambre, until I decided that I had not quite satisfied my moaning quota for the day and called up Morgan to go whinge some more. Got back to my corner at midnight, and was just settling down for a nice as-many-hours-as-I-wanted kip, when I remembered that I'd only done gone promised Parker that I'd go swimming with him at 6 in the sea. I valiantly set my alarm for 05:45.

Thankfully (?) I had a broken sleep so it was fairly easy to get up. Starfish was less foreboding than last time, and the inky blackness was less so - though the phytoplankton were mysteriously not present. Nothing like a good dose of e.coli before breakfast anyway. Planning to skim the layers of clothing off my floor and get Heather to cut my hair today. 

H

ps. I made a photography blog for my totes trendy piccies. 

pps. I'm going to Thailand on Saturday isn't that odd and worth noting. Mocks have destroyed my ability to contemplate the future. Let's just hope that this time I don't lose the will to live whilst there.

Readiculous

The can't in my Hannah Can't Read has gone. I have my reasons. My 15 year old sister (though perpetually the cooler of the Reads I hasten to assure you) recently changed her facebook name to Clodagh Readiculous. Being a mature 18 year old who buys expensive cheese as a manic act of opulence on the mid mock weekend, the can't was already on its last legs. Upon the incidence of the family bad pun integrated facebook name spot becoming taken, well, it was a tough goodbye but not quite equatable to the Bridget Jones emotion spectrum.

Opulence and project hot breakings (I have two MOS apple pies and mindless yoghurt popping bubba fro-yo to hold accountable for that plural) aside, this weekend has been glorious. Heather taught me the intricacies of her culture (lol poi) and took photos of the awful faces I pull when I'm concentrating. It was lots of fun and I did no maths at all and she did no Chinese and we cut up a bikini we found in the art room to make me a set. I accidentally took a video of us and though its a 7 minute gem of Heather burning her hands on molten nylon and me aimlessly twirling a single poi yoke around happy as Larry to the Arctic Monkeys' Favourite Worst Nightmare, it would probably be perceived by those who do not have 7 minutes spare to watch a poor quality video of a humdrum wad of nothing as a right hape of shite. 

It being a very sunny day and I bumming around with hetzy and then making good aul wholesome food with dilly and laurita made me do all my summer daydreaming. The kind of February ERMAHGERDSUMMERRR will be da bestest bring on july 2kaii13 lad kinda feels. I'm buzzin to get back to Bulmers and baths and Bulmers in the bath and drinking MILK from the carton like the bogger I truly am. These dreams of Centra own brand low fat two litre bottles have to be accompanied by some kind of choons and mar sin I have been enjoying the birthday playlist I made for the most reverend queen of eyebrows traytray-d and also a Jape//David Kitt binge the past few days. 

Pure claaaaaaaaass.